I am a bit like the Queen. I have
two birthdays. My real birthday is
on January 29th and my other one is
on June 23rd. In a way my second one
is more special now.
Sixteen years ago I was in New York.
I was feeling a little rough, thought
it was flu.The lady I was staying with
in the Catskill Mountains kept giving me
Lemsips with honey. I did not feel better.
I came home and perked up a little, but
still got tired early and went to sleep
like a log as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I was having a bath and my hand hand felt a
small pea like lump on one of my testicles.
I froze. I dried myself off and called my
doctor. I could see him that afternoon, it
was Friday 20th June. I arrived at his surgery
in a sweat. He came out and called me in and
I told him what I had found. He checked me out
and said that he thought it was a cyst, he did
think that I should go a see a Consultant in
Harley Street on Monday.He gave me a letter and
I went away feeling just a bit better.
Monday came and the sun was shining. I got a cab
and arrived in Harley St a little before my
appointment.I went in and remember that Jeremy
Thorpe was coming down the stairs, we smiled
as we passed each other, a dapper chap.
I went into see Mr Kirby almost straight away.
He did not hang around. Go over there and drop
your pants. He came over and examined me.
"Well Martin" he said "that's a tumor".
"It might not be malignant" was my reply.
"O yes it is" was his. My heart sunk, my
head just spun. "We have to get that out as
soon as possible, I will operate at six tonight
if you can make it?". A muted "yes" was my reply.
He called The Princess Grace Hospital and booked
a scan. He sent me off. I was in a complete daze.
I found my way to the Radiology dept and was shown
to a cubicle by a beautiful nurse. I sat down and
just started to cry. "I have cancer" I said.
She was so kind she gave me a cuddle and said
"We will do all we can for you, don't worry".
I changed into a robe and went in for what was
going to be the first of many, many scans.
The Doctor came in and said "We have to look at
your brain martin, to see if it has got there".
" I am going to give you an injection and that
will show up on the scan, some people have a little
reaction". He put the needle in and in a nano second
I was throwing up. I had worn my cowboy boots and
they were standing by the scanner. I was sick right
into them. For the first time that morning I laughed.
As did all of the girls in the booth.
I left there with the good news that it had not
spread anywhere else. Clutching my envelope of
pictures, I made my way to The Harley Street Clinic
where I was going to have my op. I was shown to my
room and made myself comfortable before my prep.
Anyway to cut a long story short, I had the op at
six and left hospital the next day. That's why I
will be going to Auchan
and buying a bottle of bubbles and sharing it
with a beautiful girl called Wendy.
I am a lucky boy.